Big emotions are not manipulation

I have big emotions frequently. I love big. I fear big. I anger big. I feel big. I can only imagine that I've always had big feelings. I know that my kids have big feelings, too. It's never something that I've felt the need to apologize for.  Having feelings and expressing them is a healthy I don't see their emotions as any less than my own and I do not feel the need to control their feelings for them. I hope that I am able to help them learn to control their reactions to their big feelings as they grow by example. Merriam-Webster Online defines the word manipulate in the following way: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage or to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose.  I do not believe that a child uses their emotions to manipulate people unless they themselves have been manipulated that way.  An infant does not cry to manipulate someone to hold them- an infant cries because they need something whether it be food, a clean diaper, or just human contact. If we can be there for our children and provide them what they need in a safe, secure way, manipulation never enters into the equation. This morning my son wanted some soda. We were out of it and I told him so.  He started crying.  He told me to go get some.  He was angry and sad because we were out of his favorite drink.  I did not take his yelling and crying personally.  I told him that I couldn't go get any until later because my car wasn't working.  I told him what else was available to drink and I told him that I understood his frustration because I was upset we were out of it, too.   Hi was still upset and I told him I was going to the other room and if he needed me, I would be there.  I heard him kick once and then it was done.  He called for me to help him pour some juice.  He had BIG feelings about not having that soda.  He cried and yelled and offered his solution to the problem- me going to get some.  He was not yelling or crying to manipulate me.  He was expressing himself in the way that most 5 year olds  know would do.  If I had been a little more mindful, we would not have run out and neither one of us would have been disappointed, but I forgot. Rue Kream wrote "No child wants to have a meltdown. It's our job as parents to meet and anticipate our children's needs and to make doing so a priority."  I firmly believe that.   (You can read the rest of that article here) When my kids display these big emotions, I do my best to be there for them.  I know that they are expressing those emotions in their own way.  I do not think that expressing emotions are something that should ever be disciplined for- they will hopefully learn to control their reactions to these feeling as they grow- especially when they are surrounded with love and support.